Monday, September 3, 2007

How People Stop and Stare

This weekend we went out for breakfast. Now mind you that our little town of NP has more than its share of people to look at. Some days I think we are in competition for the greatest number of tattoo parlors/capita and most citizens of a town with a tattoo. One guy has his face tattooed (that had to hurt), a young woman has both arms and legs (and I am certain it does not stop there) tattooed. I think Iam the only one without a tattoo.

My love has a Power-Pic-Line in her arm that travels up the vein in her arm so they can deliver things and remove things from her body without poking her again and again. It is very convenient and a good thing but she has these two lines exiting her arm. It gives me the creeps to look at it. However I have adjusted.

We were heading to our favorite breakfast place and I began to notice people staring. Perhaps it was the near hairlessness, the cap, the pained walk, the pale skin or the Power-Pic-Line. I don't know but it made me wonder if I had given such looks to other people and if it bothered them or made them as self conscious as it made us.

The reactions seemed to range from slight horror to pity to amazement. I kept expecting mothers to grab their small children and hustle them inside. I also expected the tattooed to not look. I mean these folks have let someone draw on them and not necessarily very good drawings done very well. However, they looked at her like she was the freak! So much for tolerance and kindred spirit. So much for the community of the outcast.

So I did the only thing I could, I would slowly pull up the sunglasses and give them a stare back, locking their gaze and following them. A friend once said I had the stare of someone in a witness protection program, hard mean and intimidating to average citizens. I used it and it worked. I don't feel bad about it but it caused some conflict in me. I can guarantee you I will never stare at the guys on the bus out for a day away from the group home or someone who has a disability or a homeless person. It just isn't right and makes you feel like there is something not just wrong but deficient about you. I hate those sort of Epiphany's.

2 comments:

debsnm said...

There will never be a shortage of rude people, unfortunately. Staring back is probably the best defense. Get her some blue wigs, or maybe hot pink or candy-apple red. Damn the assholes and full speed ahead!

debsnm said...

I was watching TV last night, thinking about your latest posts (they stay with me for days). I was watching LA Ink - a reality show about a tattoo parlor, in case you haven't seen it - and the first customer they had was a very pretty "small person". And she talked about how people ask her all the time how she "does it" - gets along in a world that is designed for people much taller than her. She said her parents were as she was, and it was no big deal.
I got to thinking - we all have "something" - we're too short or too tall, too fat or too thin, have tattoos or no hair, or. . . (insert your "something" here). Most of us, at one time or another has had someone stare at us for whatever reason. It's rude, yes, but we've probably also stared at someone - AND - we've almost all had someone say to us how much they admire us for what we're doing, what we're going through, and for almost all of us, we "just do it" - we live our lives and we do what has to be done because the alternative is too hard to bear, or not even a consideration. So, the next time they stare (and you know they will) stare back, and tell your love how much you admire her.