16% 40% 90%

We are at the midpoint of the chemotherapy there are 18 weeks and we are at week 9. During the initial phase the tumor shrank rapidly and the doctor was elated. He pronounced at one point that things were going so well that my wife had a 90% chance of remission. How I held on to those words and still do.

Lately the tumor has stopped shrinking. Granted it is much smaller but it is not getting smaller in perceptible ways. At least not in the dramatic fashion. That worries me.

My love was sitting on the couch and looking at web sites about breast cancer. The sites give odds just like Vegas. One says a 16% chance of survival 24 months after the completion of therapy another 40% others much less. That worries me.

We have slipped into a normalcy that includes a constant cough and low energy. We think it normal to keep our daughter from being with people who have a cough or cold. We avoid crowds. We have enough hand sanitizer to keep us sanitized for months. We are at war. That worries me.