A Reprieve of Sorts

In the old movies, the cop would come up to the prisoner standing behind the bars. "Its your lucky day Lefty. The governor has given you a reprieve." The prisoner, usually a James Cagney ripoff would look at him and make a cynical remark about how he would "rather die than live in this dump."

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines it as the delay of punishment or to give relief for a time. Good old Merriam telling us it is for a time or it is a delay. That is a key element, the time period. It sort of tells you the sword of Damocles is still hanging by a thread or horse hair to be more exact. Life seems good until you look up and notice the sword hanging by the horse hair thread and like Damocles you want to return to the safer former life.

The doctor saw my love and she asked what the process was to be. "Well he said the tumor has shrunk dramatically and that I am walking without much pain. I told him I still got pain when I stood for a long time and he said he did too. So I asked him what we were going to do once the chemo stopped in a few weeks? Would we move on to surgery then radiation and hormone therapy? He said that he wanted to continue the chemo cycles until we complete eight cycles. That would be in February. He said we would probably start hormone therapy and be on it for about five years. He took surgery off the table and said we wouldn't need it."

Did you catch that? The doctor took surgery off the table, said hormone therapy for five years but did not mention radiation. Perhaps I am reading things in to it about the radiation, perhaps not. Anyway it is a reprieve of sorts. Now if we could just get rid of that sword.

A Young Girl's Dream

"So dad, I had the craziest dream last night. I want you to tell me what its about." My daughter Lilli always greets me at 6am with a question, never a "Good morning daddy!" followed by a hug and a peck on the cheek. That was only on Father Knows Best or the Donna Reed Show. Mine starts with an interrogative. Coffee comes first though.

This morning I settle down in the chair with a cup of coffee. It takes a few moments after feeding the dog, letting the cats in and out and in and out to get the coffee and sit for a moment. I don't think as quickly and clearly until I have had a few moments.

"So dad, I was having this dream. There was a dragon in the basement. We couldn't see it but we knew it was there and it made the house hot and uncomfortable. Every time it breathed its fire on us we could feel it but we couldn't really see it. So the downstairs was getting hotter and hotter and we could feel its breath so I like grabbed Molly and we went upstairs cause the house was on fire. We went into you guys' room and Sam went into your closet and kicked the window out. He went out the window and was like in the front yard and he kept calling up to us to jump and wanted Molly to climb out but she couldn't and then the fire kinda went out and I like woke up. Can you tell me what that's all about?"

Sometimes I'm lucky and get a softball like this. Most times I don't and have to ask about what's going on in their personal life. This one is easy. I took another sip of coffee and she asked about it again. I waited and then began.

" So what do you think it is about Lilli?"

"I don't know?"

"What dragon is in our life right now dear?"

"Mom's cancer?"

"Very good. The dragon is mom's cancer and when it breathes its fire like when she is sick, we all feel it. It burns us and we retreat. It is funny that we retreated in to our bedroom though. Sam found a way out by going to Oxford and you two could not get out because you have to live here even though he wants you to be able to get away."

"Why did he want Molly?"

"She is the youngest and he worries about her more than he worries about you. He knows you have friends and spend the night at their hose and you have other things going on. Molly doesn't, she is just a little kid."

"Oh okay. Gotta take a shower now." And off she danced.

She has very vivid dreams and she is having them more and more often. I wish she were not but there you go, there you go.