January chemo

We go in to the cancer center as we have for the last eight months. The receptionist is the same, the nurses the same. Some of the people are the same. There is one tight lipped fellow who takes his treatment with military bearing, ramrod straight, reading but no sleeping and never anyone accompanying him. Tough guy.

We start with the usual blood work. This time though the needle can’t find its mark. They have to search. Cindy is wincing. I’m about to pass out. I hold her hand as much for me as for her. It just gives me the creeps and hurts to look at it so I don’t. The nurse who is excellent, can’t find a good vein so she goes for a baby needle. That really creeps me out. They stick her in her hand for God’s sake! The blood is not moving quickly and I can tell it hurts. The nurse is apologizing and I am about to lose it. Damn my hand even hurts but Cindy just winces, no tears. Finally it is over, nice bruise too. No tears though, not a one was shed.

The doctor comes in and performs his examination and we wait anxiously.

“Fantastic, you look well. the tumor is just scar tissue now. Really below 1cm from what 6cm? Are you eating well?”

“A little bit.” (Liar)

“Are you stretching? Stretching is important.” , says the doctor.

“A little bit. Every morning when I wake up.” (Fibber)

“Getting plenty of rest? How about work how many hours are you putting in?”, he inquires looking over his glasses.

“I’m back up to a full schedule.” (Whopper, up to 60 hours now)

“Well I think we are through with chemo. We have done the 8 cycles.”

“What now?”

“We need to start you on hormone therapy. We will need to see you once per month for that and to give you something to strengthen your bones. This stuff robs you of the bone mass so we need to get you back up.” he says. Then he turns and exits searching for the nurse.

That’s it? No band, no parade no nothing but we are done? How do we know? How about the other tumors? How will we be able to tell if it comes back? Can anyone answer our questions? A little help here!!!

So we exit the exam room and head into the infusion room. She has to take the meds by IV and it hurts. Now the tears start.

“I thought I wouldn’t have to do this anymore.” She cries.

“I understand but at least your hair will start to grow back.” I never know if I say the right things but this one sits on the fence for a long time before falling into fair territory.

“Yeah, at least that.”, she says and cries.